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  1. shame

#shame Photos & Videos

shame - 883.8k posts

One of the behaviour patterns that maintains social anxiety is the tendency to engage in excessive post-event processing. This is often referred to in therapy as doing a “post mortem”. This is especially common and EXAGGERATED in a post-alcohol hangover state (FYI: alcohol is a depressant, and so there’s even more cognitive biases at play after a night of drinking).
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Engaging too much in mental reviews of your actions is thought to contribute to perpetuating negative images and ideas about yourself; this is one of the things that keeps social anxiety going!
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It doesn’t help if you’re also overly focussed on self in the moment, as this contributes to being more likely to store biased memories. Think about feeling self-conscious; this state encourages you to pay extra attention to your own movements, speech, posture, actions, etc.
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If you shine a spotlight on SELF via your attentional awareness, you’re going to save and backup these memories. Then, later or the next day, you review these in fine detail. What you’re doing at that time is looking for evidence that supports the thing you are self-conscious about. And hey guess what? If you look hard enough you’re going to find it (we call this confirmation bias).
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I urge you to attempt to disengage from the post-mortem when you notice you are engaged with this. All it’s going to do is force you into a state of a big fat cringe fest, full of regret and shame.
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A little quip to remember; although you are the star of your own show, you aren’t the playing the lead role in everyone else’s. As such, they won’t be as tuned into or as concerned about your behaviour as you are.
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So, get out from under the duvet and get on with your life!
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More social anxiety Psychoeducation and tips coming soon for those who really struggle with the increase in social interactions that the festive season brings.

#socialanxiety #socialphobia #socialanxietydisorder #sad #therapy #cbttherapy #cbttherapist #cognitivebehaviouraltherapy #psychotherapist #tipoftheday #anxietymanagement #anxietyhelp #psychologytips #postmortem #postevent #cringe #shame #embarrassed #hangoverfeels

Waiting on an answer!!! #selfreminder #sadness #confused #outoforder #lowstandards #curse #shame

The 1950s called, they need their toy back... #shame #disney

Lexicon (spiritual interpretation)

Grasp, Take Hold, Posses

Job say...if I speak or if I don't
I hurt all the same.
My torment continues.
God has worn me down and destroyed my family..I am his prisoner.
God is my hateful enemy, glaring at me and attacking with his sharp teeths... He is the one who handed me over to this merciless mob.
Everything was going well, until God grabbed
took hold of my neck and break me to pieces
God set me as his target for his arrows and
without mercy, He slashed my stomach open
spilling out my insides.
God never stop attacking and so,
in my sorrows I dressed in shame and
Guilt (sackcloth)... Job 16:1-17

#mySorrows #Shame&Guilt #MyWitness

Thin ice lifestyle, fearing the morning to come and fearing the sunrise all for way to fit in. 💙 #Scary #Movement #Disappointment #Shame #Harm #Rest

Circles in manuals. Upcycling paper. Paper everywhere. Circles everywhere. So when circles are everywhere, can they stand on their own? Worth a discussion. Or perhaps a poem?
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Het sap stroomt waar het niet wil stromen
Zwart is het spoor want het loopt dood
Schaamte verbergt zich achter rode kaken
Vlucht weg nu dat er licht op valt
[A circle a day keeps the mind insane. A poem a day keeps the heart sane.] #poem #circles #shame #darkness #upcycling #essence #essentialharvesting #bioartprint #bioart #anjeclaeys

I'm certain of one thing: it's my story to tell, and by being transparent in its darkest moments, it's empowered me to own it in its entirety. .
While @instagram has afforded me an incredible venue to share my life, it's sometimes restrictive in its ability to convey a message in x amount of characters. So, I've started a blog. There, I'll have a little more freedom. .
I love Instagram, like a lot...like your husband likes it when he wears that skipper's cap and you call him "Daddy." Or, how much you like watching Jordan's gristly forearms, at Kroger, as he packs your Wheaties into your reusable eviro-bags that you 'accidentally' spilled your eau de toilette on, in the hopes that he might just remember you and your snug, high waisted mom jeans. Jesus, Bonnie, he's barely 18, and you just bought a new skipper's cap. .
See? It's easy to run out of characters.
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I really like Instagram, like skipper's caps and sexy baggers. So, I'll continue to blog here, but sometimes they'll be some extra unabridged shit on the website, maybe even feature some of my favorite heroes in this extraordinary, bizarre community, aaaaaaaaand a certain redhead @unbecoming.mrs.b and I are about to start recording a #podcast about #addiction in relationships, #codependency, setting #boundaries, self love, overcoming #shame, Lord of The Rings fan fiction, Jordan's thighs, onion soup mix recipes, why I like being called 'Daddy,' musical theatre, non-musical theatre, and pho.
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So, stay tuned. Link in bio. (Holy fuck, yo. I've always wanted to say that. Maybe even a 'merch link' in bio. Authentic #goatanus reproductions?)
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#peteonrepeat #blog #sober #sobriety #recovery #soberlife #inspiration #instagram #orange #lotr The eye of Sauron is upon you, Bonnie. Fuckin' Bonnie. Pho shizzle. #theresabrightside #health #wellness #blogger #thepeteonrepeatsuperarmyofchampions #kicks #chucks #wearethestorm

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, #shame can’t survive”. —Brené B.

Before you spread Christmas cheer you need to spread santacon shame.
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#overheardaroundtheoffice #overheard #overheardconversations #santacon #santacon2019 #christmascheer #shame #daydrinking #drinkingmemes #christmasmiracle

•❕Let go of other people’s shame that you’re holding on to❕• @mentalillnessquotesinfo Sarah Jane Crosby (@themindgeek): "💭T R A U M A
R E C O V E R Y
[s h a m e]
——
🧠When we speak about trauma recovery, one of the main issues that comes up is self-blame + judgement. Self judgment generates and reinforces shame; a force so insidious, it halts + hinders our ability to process
🧠Shame is incredibly creative. It creates stories, it creates walls; mostly, it creates silence✨
——
💭Shame tells us we are or were:
🔎Too sensitive
🔎Too little/too much
🔎Too selfish
🔎Too stupid
🔎Too drunk
🔎Too weak
🔎Too needy
——
🌿Considering our trauma, perhaps we recognize some of our internal dialogue in these statements above. So what can we do, to unpack some of these?
——
📘Speaking Gently
Considering our experiences, we can ask ourselves ‘In that moment + what followed, what did I need to hear?’ If it isn’t compassionate or validating, we’re speaking from a voice that isn’t our own. What we needed to hear then, we still need to hear. Can we offer it to ourselves?
📙Replace The Characters
Replacing ourselves in our trauma, with a friend or someone we love dearly, can grant us quicker access to empathetic understanding. Without judging, consider the empathy we offer another + the level of compassion we offer ourselves
📗Hear Our Voice
When we stay in our silence, the gravity + impact of our trauma can go unnoticed. Whether it is in an online support group that offers anonymity or with a therapist, hearing our voice speak our story is some of the most powerful steps we can take. In the words of Brené Brown, “If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive”"
——
#mentalhealthsupport #anxietyhelp #emotionalabuse #toxicpeople #ptsdrecovery #ptsdawareness #shame #nobodyshame #mentalhealthawareness #selflove #psychology #psychotherapy #traumarecovery #traumahealing #traumainformed

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛. 𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗. 𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚎 𝚍𝚘, 𝙸 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚘𝚕𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 & 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚌𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜. 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕. 𝙴𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚝𝚢. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝙸'𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚍𝚖𝚒𝚝. 𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚜 𝚒𝚗, 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚗. 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏, 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎, 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝. 🌌
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📷@zaptra

#shameonyou #shame #on #you 🐷

💜🖤🤘 #Repost @latibulecounseling (@get_repost)
・・・
When others don’t have the tools to handle emotions they might make you feel like there is something wrong with you. You begin to feel “I can’t be this way,” you then suppress your feelings and begin to feel that you are the problem. ⁣

This leads to you thinking and feeling your are a burden. You might think, “I’m worry about being a burden to others If I let them know my problems, if I reveal my distress.” ⁣

Please know that this is just an old childhood memory of yours of people not being able to respond to your feelings in a healthy and acceptable way.⁣

There is nothing wrong with your or your feelings. You just grew up with people who were hurt and didn’t have the tools to help you learn how to handle emotions. You can still learn to express your feelings ❤️. ⁣

#healing #fellings #emotions #childhood #parenting #parents #marriage #couples #relationships #shame #cycles #cptsd #innerchildhealing #innerchild #heal #acceptance #validation #emotionalintelligence #counselorsfollowcounselors #counselorsofinstagram

The four key limiting energies to our individual and collective success are fear, shame, unskilful desire and guilt. The most crippling of these is shame. The most blocking is fear. The one that derails our trajectory is unskilful desire. The one that weakens us is toxic guilt. We can clear these energies with understanding their origins, shape and movement. We can liberate ourselves with cultivation of Lucidity through MindMastery, Conscious Breathwork and Embodied Awareness. We empower ourselves and all with relational depth, integrity and love.

Back to back
#shame
#h2kcrew

♦️Don't be fooled about "Self-Partnering"♦️ There is a big buzz about the term "self-partnering", and it's not just among Millenials. 🌹

Have you heard of it, yet⁉️ Emma Watson came out and talked about how happy she is as a single person being "self-partnered". 🌹

I am thrilled about this, especially if you're in a committed, long-term relationship.... What❓❓❓Not just a term for "happily single"❓❓❓ Self-partnering is hugely important for everyone to live free of abuse and abusive patterns, and truly generate the life and love that you were born to live.🌹 These are myths passed down that need to be exposed‼️ The old messages were that certain emotions are unpalatable and to avoid them and shut them down, at all costs.🌹 In times of emotional distress, (which is always a signal to turn inwards and heal something within), we were taught to do the exact opposite. Right⁉️ What we have done in times of emotional distress is: 💫Try to numb out
💫Self-medicate by grabbing somebody, or something, to try to fix how we feel...and stop it
💫Project our inner pain onto someone, or something, as a way of trying to get relief from it
💫Stay busy and distract yourself to avoid inner confrontation
💫Pretend everything is fine and focus on things more positive

Has it worked for you⁉️ Honestly, those steps are just as disastrous as it would be to ignore a leaking roof and think that our furniture and belongings aren’t going to get wet, or ignore our car’s grinding engine and think we can just continue driving it with no consequences, forever.🌹 Self-partnering is the act of coming together with our true Soul and be able to process our emotions. 🌹 Self-avoiding, self-medicating and self-abandoning doesn’t allow us to get REAL. 🌹 Instead, it further creates distance and confusion with our Soul, which is the core of how our entire life goes.🌹 Watch for an upcoming post that will give more details on HOW self-partnering can affect MORE areas of our life.🌹 If you want to get clarity with issues affecting your life, schedule a free clarity call HERE 🌹👇🏻♥️ https://calendly.com/kathireedmyers/free-call-with-kathi

Have you ever wondered how you could know for certain that God loved you?
Do you hope for more in your spiritual walk than what has been true so far?
Experiencing God: Creating Space through Contemplative Prayer is a space where we combine contemplative prayer with understanding Scripture from the viewpoint of the original readers to become aware of our image of God and who we are in relationship with God. Starts Jan 9th!

For more information: http://ow.ly/tSR050xzKqr

#shameandgrace #grace #prayer #shame #boldlyloved #imagodei #spiritual #spirituality #findyourself #spiritualformation #companion #companioning #together #alongside #community #spiritualwalk #kathigatlin #experiencingGod #contemplative #contemplativeprayer #beingboldlylovedandlovingboldly #contemplativelife #quaker #spiritualdirection #transformation #imagodeiministries #katieskurja #spiritualgrowth

OMG, so excited to see this, wish I could have been in the room where it happened!
I have been lucky enough to see three of these guys on stage in NYC and love them all, Adam Pascal in RENT, James Snyder in If/Then and Andrew in Bat - would love to see them all together, hope it comes to fruition... #shAme 📸: James Snyder, Jamison Scott

Alright my friends... I need your help.
This is my friend who almost died last summer from a heart that was damaged caused by cobalt poisoning that came from her J&J metal total hip replacement device. She was at Duke, in the hospital this summer/fall for more than two months, because her heart has been so compromised by poisoning from the hip (the same hip I had... we had the same surgeon too...) We didn’t know if she’d survive. Now I’m sure she has a couple more bills to say the least.

Help me help her. I will get her gift cards to send &/or get her address from her, in case any of you want to get her a gift card & send it directly, so she can give her boys a way to get clothes or some things they like.
EXTENDED MEDICAL ISSUES (caused by medical devices) DESTROY FAMILIES’ FINANCIAL HEALTH, especially when they take away a breadwinner. You simply can’t recover from it. If you want to help me to help her family before Christmas, send me a message, below or directly, about how you can or might be able to help. She lives in the Raleigh-Durham area. #jnj johnsonandjohnson #thr #medicaldevice #fda #end510K #depuy #depuysynthes #metalonmetal #cobaltpoisoning #metallosis #cobalt #chromium #orthopedic #jointreplacement #hipreplacement #totalhipreplacement #shame

Take your power back....

हुकूमत मुझे इतना बता दे, ऐसा अचानक क्या हुआ जो आज हर हिन्दुस्तानी स्टूडेंट्स, हुकूमत की नज़र में देशद्रही या अतांकवाद बन गया और हर एक यूनिवर्सिटी अतांकियों का घर। ।
जामिया की खूबसूरत, खुश गवार कैंपस को जहन्नम बना दिया।

Democracy ka Tamasha, these policemen are not fighting with terrorists, anti Nationals but with STUDENTS.

Many of our brothers and sisters are hospitalized. Pray for them.
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PC : (DM for credit)
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#standagainstcab #rejectcab #rejectnrc #jamia #jamiamilliaislamia #jamiamilliaislamiauniversity #jamiamillia #jmi #jamiaagainstcab #delhi #delhipolice #student #shame #protest #democracy #CAB #NRC

👹 #woahdud #shame #grunge #freak #mesh #snapchat

🌑💫 original poetry inspired by the depths of crisis, and the incredible poet Angela Hernandez-Nunez #trauma #complextrauma #developmentaltrauma #poetry #innocence #shame #writewhathurts #burdenoflight #youarenotalone

#Mind #Body & #Soul
Da #Father Da #Son & Da #HolySpirit
#DonChi #King #Energy 👑 ✨
The #mind is the #tool 🧠 🛠️
#own #up 2 #mines put no #shame on me
💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯

नाम के पीछे "सावरकर" होने के लिए, "वीर" होना ज़रूरी होता है और वो तुम्हारी औकात नहीं है pappu क्योंकि तुम्हारे अंदर तो तुम्हारे दादा फिरोज खान का डीएनए हैं ।।
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#RahulThodaSharamkar
#congressbachaorally #veersavarkar #pappu #rahulchomu #shame #yudhishthira #bhartiya #akhandbharat #ekbharat #jaishreekrishna #politics #instagram #shiva #ram #congress  #soniagandhi #indiragandhi  #rajivgandhi  #congressmuktbharat #pmmodi  #modisecondterm  #modi  #modiji #narendramodi  #pmnarendramodi  #narendramodi  #MODIfied  #modisecondterm  #modisarkaar  #namonamo  #modipower

Top #shame posts

; Happy Thursday bbs ❤

Hi. PLEASE SHOW UP AND DO YOUR THING. That’s all. K bye.

‘I am fine’ when you are not ‘Everything’s okay’When it’s not
It’s black when it’s white -

It is lying
It is confusing
It is unfair
It causes dissonance
It causes rupture in the psyche -
acknowledging and validating children’s experience was and is necessary
it may be uncomfortable
it may be confronting
-
-
If our experiences were denied. Then we can often start to distrust ourselves. Children trust adults and are dependent on them for survival. A child will automatically say it must be me-I don’t see the world right. -
It is my fault. -
When in fact they were right. Their senses were spot on. -
So we have to start the process of learning to reconnect with our own sense, our own knowing and start to trust our innate wisdom .. -
-

#incongruous #childhoodtrauma #dissonance #wisdom #traumahealing #inheritedtrauma #authentic #transparency

Sarah Jane Crosby (@themindgeek): "💭T R A U M A
R E C O V E R Y
[s h a m e]
——
🧠When we speak about trauma recovery, one of the main issues that comes up is self-blame + judgement. Self judgment generates and reinforces shame; a force so insidious, it halts + hinders our ability to process
🧠Shame is incredibly creative. It creates stories, it creates walls; mostly, it creates silence✨
——
💭Shame tells us we are or were:
🔎Too sensitive
🔎Too little/too much
🔎Too selfish
🔎Too stupid
🔎Too drunk
🔎Too weak
🔎Too needy
——
🌿Considering our trauma, perhaps we recognize some of our internal dialogue in these statements above. So what can we do, to unpack some of these?
——
📘Speaking Gently
Considering our experiences, we can ask ourselves ‘In that moment + what followed, what did I need to hear?’ If it isn’t compassionate or validating, we’re speaking from a voice that isn’t our own. What we needed to hear then, we still need to hear. Can we offer it to ourselves?
📙Replace The Characters
Replacing ourselves in our trauma, with a friend or someone we love dearly, can grant us quicker access to empathetic understanding. Without judging, consider the empathy we offer another + the level of compassion we offer ourselves
📗Hear Our Voice
When we stay in our silence, the gravity + impact of our trauma can go unnoticed. Whether it is in an online support group that offers anonymity or with a therapist, hearing our voice speak our story is some of the most powerful steps we can take. In the words of Brené Brown, “If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive”"
——
#mentalhealthsupport #anxietyhelp #emotionalabuse #toxicpeople #ptsdrecovery #ptsdawareness #shame #nobodyshame

No caption needed. 😭❤️

When others don’t have the tools to handle emotions they might make you feel like there is something wrong with you. You begin to feel “I can’t be this way,” you then suppress your feelings and begin to feel that you are the problem. ⁣

This leads to you thinking and feeling your are a burden. You might think, “I’m worry about being a burden to others If I let them know my problems, if I reveal my distress.” ⁣

Please know that this is just an old childhood memory of yours of people not being able to respond to your feelings in a healthy and acceptable way.⁣

There is nothing wrong with your or your feelings. You just grew up with people who were hurt and didn’t have the tools to help you learn how to handle emotions. You can still learn to express your feelings ❤️. ⁣

#healing #fellings #emotions #childhood #parenting #parents #marriage #couples #relationships #shame #cycles #cptsd #innerchildhealing #innerchild #heal #acceptance #validation #emotionalintelligence #counselorsfollowcounselors #counselorsofinstagram

Live or die, there is no trial. Permanent regrets are a living death. There is no life in a contained box, perennial retractions and when one is surrounded by all negative folks.
#go2words #liveordie #quotes #proverbs #sayings #wordss #motivationalquotes #get-out #dignity #respect #noworries #nocrib #shame #livebetter #verseoftheday #courage

At some point in the healing journey, you begin to realize that there is an aspect of your pain that is not yours, that the shame you wear like an extra skin can be peeled off and handed back to the rightful owner. At some point, you come to awareness that the “icky” feeling that accompanies shame is your mother’s ick that she absorbed from her mother and her mother the same, back through countless generations until it circles back around, lands in your pores and becomes a part of you. Dani Shapiro @daniwriter describes this beautifully in her book, Devotion, as she writes about a series of therapy sessions she had with her mother to try to repair their very painful and fractured relationship:
• “It wasn’t long before he [the therapist] took my side. I hadn’t anticipated this. I know they’re not supposed to take sides, but he did. Irene, you’re not listening to Dani. Excuse me. Excuse me, Irene. Irene! Rather than feeling vindicated, I felt guilty. It seemed cruel, and my fault, somehow. My relationship with my mother had always brought into question any sense I had about myself as a good and decent person. Surely I was poisoning the psychiatrist.”


The belief is: I am responsible for my mother’s well-being. If she’s in pain, it’s my fault. Her badness becomes my badness, and when I’m in her presence I lose all sense that I am a good person. But what is passed down, can be healed, and it’s often the most sensitive and awake child in the family that stops the generational buck and buckles down to do their healing.


To read the full post, click on link in bio. Photo by my niece Victoria Russell of @perennialspodcast from her last visit to the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. •

#shame #guilt #unlivedlives #brenebrown #vulnerability #evolutionarythreshold #anxiety #wisdomofanxiety #falsebeliefs #cogntiivedistortions #goodness #intergenerationalhealing #intergenerationaltrauma #coreshame #shamebeliefs #guiltbeliefs #mentalhealing #mentalhealth #selfgrowth #innerwork #buckstopshere

Do you know what this is all about? ⁣

That even before you were born your parents were already deciding who you were going to be. They were deciding what you were going to like, what sports teams you were going to support, what kind of friends you were going to have, what religion you were going to practice, or even your gender and sexual preference. ⁣

They didn’t realize that they were planning a life that they wanted. That they were putting on their fears and their unfinished goals on you. ⁣
They never stop to think that you already came knowing who you were. ⁣

Children will go to extreme extents to not be abandoned by their parents either on a physical or emotional level. ⁣

Children don’t have much of a choice but to try to meet the expectations of their parents just to maintain the connection. ⁣

This adaptation will continue unconsciously in the adult in any relationship. ⁣

Begin exploring who you are aside from everyone else. If nobody had any expectations for you, If no-one was going to question you, If everyone would just support you, who would this person be? ⁣


#cali #selflove #selfcare #acceptance #relationshipgoals #relationships #marriage #couples #friends #toxicrelationships #love #emotions #emotion #life #attachment #parenting #parent #children #child #abandoned #california #rejection #arizona #california #mentalhealth #shame #innerchild #innerchildhealing #relationaltrauma #generationaltrauma

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