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prattprattpratt

chris pratt

Posts 539

Followers 27m

Following 375

Proud of my darling for trying to cook tonight. Did it go well? No. No it did not. Not at all. To quote Rocky Balboa, “It’s not how many times you get knocked down, it’s how many times you get up... and keep moving forward.” As you can tell from the lump of coal in the center of the plate, this bagel bite never stood a chance. I honestly simply cannot imagine what went wrong here. Pretty simple. Microwave. 2 minutes. Maybe she thought it said 2 hours. But I want to commend her for her effort. This is a big step babe. Proud of you.

You had one job.

Bluffton, South Carolina

Par 3. No filter. With enough hard work, practice and patience, you too can master the game of golf.

I don’t think it’s polite to tease... So I better apologize in advance. @tomholland2013 and I were lucky enough to watch the teaser video for @pixaronward “Onward” and here is a video of us watching the video. It is a teaser video. So nah nah nah Boo boo. We got to see it and you didn’t. Now why don’t you go cry about it now!? #burn #roasted #teasing I’m so sorry please accept my apology.

Penelope the Border Leicester in twilight at #StillwaterRanch #farmlife

The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me to #Stillwater

Wish so badly I could be there with you tomorrow my brother! Everyone be sure to watch my friend @adelkyokushin tomorrow as he continues his path toward greatness in the ring. His extraordinary story is just beginning. @bellatormma #godisgood

For seriously uplifting content follow @prince_ea this account is all heart. Makes ya feel good. Lord knows we can use it. Good stuff prince. Keep it up.

Good luck to @unbreakableperformance coach and fighter @a.v.a.knight in her @bellatorMMA debut tomorrow night in LA. DON’T MISS IT! Future champ no doubt!! World champion boxer making the step into the cage. I’ve seen her first hand. She is an incredible striker and well rounded all around fighter! We will be watching AVA! Can’t wait! 🙏♥️

To those of you who are wondering I squeaked out a victory over Chris Evans last week in the AGBO Fantasy Football Superhero League. One step closer to winning big for my charity the @braintreatmentfoundation Give them a follow and check out what they do! I should mention Chris Evans charity @christophershaven is a truly wonderful place as well. I was lucky enough to spend some time there a few years back. They are really doing incredible work over there- helping a lot of wonderful kids. I will be making a donation to them as well. I urge you to check them out and do the same if you please. 🙏♥️

Dropping a hot new poem I found.
DING-DONGS
Ding to the left.
Dong to the right.
The reverberations swell.

Ding dong!Ding dong!
They clang the outrage bell.

Ding dongs on the far right fringes
Squeaking mad like rusty hinges.
Ding dongs from the far left squad
Fixed on answers outside God.

The media plays them like a fiddle
Drowning out the healthy middle.
Pick your tribe. State your name
DISREGARD: WE’RE ALL THE SAME!
(Burdened by a sinful heart and hiding in some form of shame.) Change the channel! Don’t be late!
Pundits tell you who to hate!
Who’s a racist? Who’s a fake?
24 hours of news to break!

Skewering truths, spewing sewage,
leading mobs of frenzied voices,
With two choices, red or blue,
And key points to regurgitate.
Echo chamber ringing,
rips the fabric of society. (Followed by an ad for a pill you pop to stop anxiety.)
Get your blood a pumpin’ with some whisper fueled assumption,
About someone who wore somethin’ or some singled out opinion
among tweeters by the billions “But this one was so outrageous
And egregious and alarming!”
And you’re angry for the anger in your heart that had been forming
Is on the verge of boiling over
And you try but are unable
Like
Chernobyl in your heart the chain reaction is unstable
And the blood pressure is higher than the moment just before...
And the next commercial thankfully
Is a high blood pressure cure.

There’s a rhythm to this madness
If you take a sec to look
One option is unplug
Put down your phone
pick up a book But the other option probably is more helpful and realistic
Find the humor, check the facts, and try to remain optimistic.

Ask yourself the question: who profits from my rage?
And prevent them from lining up their pockets with that booty.

We’re His children despite race, creed, preference or age.

Under God we’re indivisible.
To stay United is our duty.

Like the sneaky lil paparazzi I am... I caught our Kune-Kune pigs, Tim and Faith, out on a lunch date and couldn’t help but get up in their grits. They’re just like us! Faith wore a chic black and white pork leather body chap with matching heel and Tim looked GLAM-AF rocking a custom brindle one piece hair suit with cloven hoof boot. The couple stayed under the radar at a #farmlife hotspot slurping chocolate milk and hazelnut oat surprise. #Couplegoals Witnesses heard Faith whispering the lyrics to “I need you” over desert as things got hot and heavy. #flirty “I wanna get lost in some corner booth.
Cantina in Mexico.
I wanna dance to the static of an AM radio.
I wanna wrap the moon around us.
Lay beside you skin on skin. Make love til the sun comes up. Til the sun goes down again.” OMG #Slay As a fan of the power couple, I cried for an hour straight curled up in a ball and LITERALLY died. And then my farmers Angie and Phil found me and asked “what the hell’s the matter with you?” #IDONTKNOW
#farmlife
#stillwater
#STILLWATERRANCH

Excited to watch @uriahhall dominate tonight! watch him Espn+ right now!! Let’s go buddy!!!!

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